I can say I needed this trip, just for the sole purpose of relaxing and getting my mental back on track. We left the house at about 4:30am to head up to R's, I had planned on leaving at 4am but S had an asthma attack right before we had to leave so I had to tend to the little one. I got him straightened out and then we we off. We had a great trip up, S had no more attacks and basically engulfed himself in my iPod games most of the way up, I in "Dirty" was completely and utterly in another world in that book....truly my element. My twitter pals will know that my son had to go to the ER on Friday night, our first night camping. S had been having some breathing trouble all day and we just couldn't get it under control. R's best friend Rob is a medic and luckily he was on the trip with us and he was nothing short of an angel helping to look after S, everyone did and I am beyond grateful for everyone's concerns. When it came time for me to make the call for S to go to the ER, R was right there with me and drove us to the ER for S to be seen. It was hard for me to see him in that condition, barely breathing and scared. He said to me in the truck, "Mommy, I don't want to die...", can you imagine the feeling of helplessness I had? I reassured him that I would let nothing happen to him and that I would never leave his side. I had to keep my composure and not break out in a flood of tears because it broke me to pieces to hear him say that, I just looked into his eyes and started to talk to him about his favorite book "Zen Shorts" and remind him of his favorite parts...which got a smile out of him. A smile I had been longing to see all day. The staff at the ER was amazing, quickly attentive and concerned. I will be writing a letter to them about their treatment of S and their efficiency. R and I were very pleased with them.

Heading back to the campsite Steven was very alert and looked great after being given his treatments. I was thrilled he would be able to sleep in comfort. On the first night after the little one was down for the count, R and I stayed up until 4am that morning. Our adrenalin was running so I don't even think we could have went to sleep if we wanted to. Later that morning (2nd day), was the day I'd been waiting for...the gun range. We made the most interesting drive up this huge mountain and then down the other side to a range. You could practically shoot anything you wanted to, and our group did. You can see all of the fun in the Vandenburg AFB set on Flickr. The remaining days we indulged in fishing, good food and conversation. In my opinion the perfect camping vacation. Now will someone please check me into a 5 star hotel...because I think I'm due.

Well we'll be doing it again, however this time at Vandenberg in Lompoc...for the Memorial Day weekend I will be without the necessities that keep my life vainglorious (with the exception of my camera and my son). The weather is supposed to be a low of 45 and a high of 70, which works for me because I hate hot ass weather for camping it sucks and all I'd want to do is sleep when it's like that. 

I have never been much for the outdoors but I've been smitten with mountain views, flowers and fauna. I think this trip while everyone is fishing I will take more photos and do some Ansel Adams-ing, because you know I love B&W photos and landscapes. I will bring along a few necessities because I need them desperately:

• iPod (because I'm starting to think R doesn't like music...)


• Dirty by Megan Hart (hopefully to finish)


• My colored pencils and Mandala book (forget you I love coloring)


• Camera gear (all of it, because I think I'll regret leaving anything behind)


• Chopin Vodka (because that's good stuff!)

One thing I wish my family did while I was growing up was camping, I think we would have built a better bond as a family. However my family is notorious for having good times on holidays, so I will miss being with them because of the following reasons:

• Playing dominoes with my grandpa, he always kicks our ass


• Drinking beers and sharing "way-back-when" stories


• The hustle and bustle of the cooking :(


• The moment when you realize that your family means everything

I usually don't get sentimental about anything but I guess the older you get the more you realize what you really have and my family in spite of how much I can be at odds with them, they are my one and only family...I'd trade them for nothing. R's family has done nothing but treat S and I very well and have been very accepting of us and I appericiate every ounce of hospitality and generosity they have shown, I just miss spending holiday's with my family.

Oh how I adore Michele's last memory tests, they really do take me back.

When is the last time you went to a wedding or commitment ceremony?

Oh, now this was back when R and I started dating in 2004...I don't make efforts to go to weddings much and thank goodness no one I know is getting married.

When is the last time you cared enough to send the very best?

Probably when I sent a Hallmark card, and you don't want to know when that was...

When is the last time the ending of a television program surprised  you?

OMG like last night on Work Out, to find out what happened to Brian Peeler, I'm so sad.

When is the last time you answered the phone in your  special Hello Sexy voice?

Humm never, I prefer texting.

When is the last time you tried to fit a square peg into a round hole?

I'd have to say when I was like 2 or 3, I've got the whole concept figured out now.

When is the last time that you put an item back on the rack or shelf because  it was too inexpensive?

I try to never put myself in that predicament, I am always the opposite. And even then I never put the item back.

When is the last time you thought that your shoe wardrobe required more metallic hues?

Ah, never I from California, not New Jersey.

I love summer.

There are so many things I want to do when the weather heats up, I was sitting on the porch pondering those things today. It was nice outside and unbelievably quiet. S had an afternoon T-Ball game that my mom and I went to and then we came home and played outside. S and I finally all played out decided to sit down, we sat next to each other without saying a word. It was nice to just enjoy each other's company in utter silence, it doesn't mean we don't love each other God knows I have an undying love for my son we were just able to hang out, me peeking through the lens at my frayed denim skirt and S leaning against me. I can say it's been a perfect mom and son Saturday.

I have always done things differently. While most people go along with the flow I change gears. Mother's Day I don't actually celebrate because I am a mother 365 days of the year. My son and I had a good day yesterday even though he had two asthma attacks and a mild fever. We cleaned out his toy box, did some homework and reading together. I'm simple and try not to ask for too much just that my son loves me as much as I love him and he listens. S is the best thing that has ever happened to me, he's the one that can make me smile at anytime, he makes me feel my 4 hours of sleep per night are not in vain and I know that he unconditionally loves me. I did not spend Mother's Day with my son, I actually spent it with R, I wanted to just have a day to myself and relax, R took me to lunch at Gregorios's and I just spent the day doing nothing, exactly what I wanted to do. We ended up filtering through the wine rack and R's house and as I was polishing off my 2005 Petit Verdot, I happened to notice a 1995 Pinot Noir, that had way to much sediment in the bottle and so we had to rid of it. We also opened a 1997 I think it was a Cabernet Sauvignon, that was fiercely delicious.

I've been toying with getting my camera professionally cleaned. I have this speck of dust which I believe is living it's life on the sensor. I don't like messing with my camera to much taking in account what I paid for it. After looking at several of my recent photos she needs love. In two years I've dropped it twice and broke one lens...yeah I should be shamed but it happened. So needless to say she will be out of commission for about a week but it's going to be completely worth it. I'm going to investigate a few other avenues before my final decision. I'm totally bummed but in two years I haven't really cleaned her much either. R brought to my attention that Nikon has a new D60, it's smaller and larger megapixels, my first thought was ... I so need this, but I would feel really bad if I got rid of my D50. It would be a nice upgrade though...