By nature I don't share my emotions. I'm closed and hidden, behind the half-smiles are broken feelings that have never healed. Last night I came clean about my feelings to R. My stresses, frustrations and disappointments. He listened as he always does, he something of a really great guy. It's been a while since I have publicly thanked him for being there for me all the times he has. I don't want to shine to much light because our three year anniversary is coming up on the 11th and as I do every year I recall the beginning of us. Last night he put aside himself to listen to me vent, cry and dig into emotions that I have never expressed to anyone. Sometimes I really hate myself for not giving him more effort of my part because he really deserves it for as much as he does for me. I think of where I could be without him and Lord knows I don't want to fathom that. I know one thing he's here for a reason...what reason it's hard to say. I have a really special guy and that's all that matters.

In other news I have an actual tire and not a mustard yellow doughnut on my car, the service guy Ron was very nice and understanding and my supervisor was nice enough to let me go take care of all of that without hesitation. A little bit of return karma is not so bad.

Appetizer
Name a great website you would recommend to others.

Agathos Dorea, if you like photography you'll definitely enjoy the photos and stories that go along with them.

Soup
On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 as highest), how often do you dream at night?

Humm dunno, I'm usually in a relationship with the inside of my eyelids.  I rarely recall any of my dreams anyway.

Salad
Did you have a pet as a child?  If so, what kind and what was its name?

A dog....I think her name was Toto (pronounced two-two).

Main Course
If you had the chance to star in a commercial, what would you choose to advertise?

A Guess commercial, they are sexy and seductive.

Dessert
What is your favorite kind of hard candy?

Apple Jolly Ranchers

If you don't already know I am a resident of San Diego County, I have been for 30 years. I know the fires right now are a hot topic that everyone is talking about. I've read the news all day and we've been called an 'inferno' and 'ablaze' so on and so forth. I can recall every single fire we've had and I can truly say this is the worst. I lucked out because I do not live in any of the affected zone and neither does R. Hopefully we can stay out of harms way. It's devastating to see people loose anything but this is the risk we take living here. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone affected, even in the slightest.

As I was driving to work this morning I noticed the sun was a burnt orange, it was one of the most amazing yet frightening sights I've seen in a long time. It just reminds us who really has the control. My boss evacuated his family to their house on the lake, two other of my co-workers had homes in evacuation zones and many others. The irony about this fire or fires were that they hit Northern and Southern San Diego County...basically we are surrounded. The air is stale and filled with ash, grey layers shed as I opened my car door to leave for work and I was met with a road block to the freeway I take to get home. To me it's just another obstacle San Diegan's yet again have to cope with.

And tomorrow I'll be doing it all over again...

This brings another topic to mind, Homeowner's Insurance, having worked in the insurance industry for 10 years it's the most important thing you can do for yourself is have renter's/homeowner's insurance, quite a few people in some of the affected areas did not...why would you do something so irresponsible? I'm an advocate for protecting my assets in the case of the unpredictable or act of God, so on and so forth and in a case like the fires those people probably wished they would have had insurance. It may not mean much because you'll still loose your items but at least you can have a piece of mind that you will be able to rebuild without breaking the bank.

I was administered a test not more than an hour ago and I have to admit I almost let it get the best of me. I was in a situation where someone (a person who frequently pushes my limits) started at me about something, they even proceeded to drag my mother into it which really chaps my hide. I  had just sat down to conjure up a crafty insulting response until I stopped myself and asked was this person really worthy of the time I was going to take to put the response together? Then I canned the drafted response and read something R sent to me a few days ago, I had read this when he sent it to me but I decided to go back to it one more time. I realized that I was the dumping ground for this person because every time that person has their panties in a bunch (in regard to something about my son) I always get their crap, I laughed as I read it because I couldn't believe that I allowed myself to get all worked up over issues that didn't belong to me. It's always hard for me to see these things and after I re-read it I stopped and went to give my son a bath and then clean the bathroom a little bit and calm down. I have to thank R for what he sends to me because he always sends me something out of the blue that I never realized I'll need later, like that.

Appetizer
If you were a dog, what breed would you be, and why?

I'm not really sure, I don't really want to be a dog...I'll leave that to my dog. He may get mad treading on his ground ya know.

Soup
What does the color purple make you think of?

A grape my son brought home from school today....it's super cute. OK honestly Prince, but my son really did bring home a grape that was super cute.

Salad
Approximately how long does it take you to get ready each morning?

30 minutes, I don't require insane amounts of time.

Main Course
How many cousins do you have, and are you close to them?

Ohhh, family questions strictly personal.

Dessert
Take your initials (first, middle, last) and come up with something else those letters could stand for. (Example: SFO = Sweet Funny Otter)

Charming Miraculous Girl